not yet there

So I am in limbo. This is good and bad. The good thing is that I know I am going to commit to this diet in about a month and I can mentally prepare, as well as set myself up for success.
     Setting myself up for success looks like making sure my cupboards don't have tempting things in them. But of course, they will have some, because Todd will be eating regularly. Lucky for me the things that he likes to eat aren't that tempting to me. It seems that I have deep longings for chocolate when I have started doing this diet....Which I've discovered, the caffeine in the chocolate as well as the chocolate itself and the sugar of course, feed the yeast...go figure. :)
     Setting myself up for success also looks like a good meal plan, I have discovered some yummy things that I like to eat on this diet so that is very helpful.
Some of the hard things about this interim is that I know that I won't be able to eat the things that I, as of this moment, really like. I just made some really yummy chocolate chocolate chip cookies that I altered the recipe so that there would be more chocolate. And of course because I know that I won't be able to have them soon, I ate too many of them. The thing is, I don't usually do this. I have pretty good self control when it comes to eating and such, but since I know that I cannot have them soon something inside of me feels broken. It's like a poverty thing, I know that I won't have them later so I figure I should stock up now? Well it sure makes for feeling pretty sick in the meantime. :p
     But, in truth, I am very excited about starting. I am excited about the fact that after the initial detox I will feel better. I love how I feel in the morning when I am eating that way. Waking up is very easy and I don't have a sugar/food hangover. I am even excited about doing colonics. Yep, you read right, in order to really get well, so they say, I have to let someone stick a tube in my behind and pump water through my intestines...sounds, um, well, interesting to say the least. Have to no fear, I will tell you all about it. :) I have already talked to the lady and she actually has done the Body Ecology Diet, for two years. I have only talked to her on the phone but she already has favor with me so that feels good.
     The other part of this whole thing that I am excited about, is that I really feel like my will is going to be strengthened. I feel like I lead a very good life and am quite happy. But!, I have been noticing, that perhaps I have been growing flabby with my will. I don't know how often I set out to do something and just do it, all the way through. Easy or hard, sticking it out. I want to say yes to this, commit myself fully and see how the universe responds. God has shown me that he is going to meet me and strengthen me through all of this and I can't wait to see what that looks like. I can't wait to see myself on the other side!

how i arrived at this place

When Noah was two weeks old I realized that she had yeast. I asked some questions, got some gentian violet to help out, and also some monistat 7. It helped some, but would leave and come back and so forth. About a week later I had weird pains in my chest while nursing. It would shoot into my armpit and around into my back. I looked it up online (good ol' Google) and found out that I too had yeast...poo.

     Well, not a problem! I started applying the gentian violet too and thought it should be gone within three days. I also got some grapeseed oil extract and was taking that bitter stuff daily, as well as drinking the juice of two lemons daily to try and get my ph level balanced. The gentian violet did help the major pain of it go away, but I still had burning in my nipple. And Noah still had off-and-on yeasty buns. 

      I've done tons of reading, talking with people, and praying. I have finally come to the conclusion that yeast isn't this thing that can easily be treated topically and remedied, but is indeed alive and well inside my gut :p. 

     I learned that yeast is actually something that is good but only in small amounts.  When you have a yeast infection it's actually a yeast overgrowth. The good bacteria in your gut usually keeps it in check but if for some reason it dies (bad diet, antibiotics, too much stress, too little sleep, taking the pill,...and the list goes on) the yeast has the opportunity to grow. In order to kill the yeast you have to starve it. It feeds on sugars and rotten food in your gut (so glamorous right?:).

     My mom showed me a video that lead me to this book called The Body Ecology Diet.  I had already cut out most sugar from my diet but not fruit. After reading this book I cut out dairy (except for fermented dairy and butter), gluten, all forms of sugar (honey, fruit, you name it, except for stevia because that doesn't feed the yeast), most carbs, and I learned all about food combining. 

     In order to be completely healed you must be on the diet for three months straight without symptoms of yeast. I decided to stop for now because I cannot do the full three months until June. I am starting early June because we are going on vacation and I am not about to try and do this diet while everyone is going to be eating really yummy foods around me :)

     Noah is now four-and-a-half months old and we are still fighting this yeasty beast!

I have prayed for healing and feel like the Lord has given me the scripture 

James 1:12, "Blessed is the (wo)man who perseveres under trial: for once (s)he has been approved, (s)he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

and also James 1:2-4

     I know that I am going to be healed but it looks like I get to walk out my healing and learn some spiritual principles as well. 

      Thanks for your support :)